


The obligatory christmas office party

by Signe_chan



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-03 06:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2840837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signe_chan/pseuds/Signe_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo has organised the Erebor banking Christmas party but that doesn't mean he's going to enjoy himself there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The obligatory christmas office party

Bilbo looked right into the mirror, being sure to use his most serious expression. It was the expression he'd used when telling Thorin that his plans were stupid. It was the expression he'd used when facing down the executive of Smaug corp to win back Erebor banking for the Durin family. It was an expression not to be messed with. 

"Bilbo," he said to himself, making his tone no-nonsense. "You are a brave, intelligent hobbit. Well, brave to a point but definitely intelligent. You've done more this year than you ever thought possible. You can do this. This is easy." 

Somehow, he didn't believe himself. Really, this should have been the easiest thing to believe. Corporate takeover and generation long-grudges should have been the hard part, a party was something he'd never thought he'd be afraid of. 

But, then, he'd never thought he'd be going to a party quite like this. Some days he thought taking back Erebor was the easy bit. He'd imagined as they'd spent long night buried under piles of paperwork discussing legal minutiae that once they'd re-taken Erebor he'd disappear into the shadows and never hear from any of them again. It was the job they'd given him, after all. He didn't know law or business but he did know paperwork. He'd been a secretary before all this and he'd been perfectly happy to be a secretary in a small firm, just doing his part and going home. And then Gandalf had brought Thorin into his life and everything had changed. 

Things had never gone back, either. 

Thorin had given every member of the company who'd helped him reclaim his ancestral firm a part in the new firm. Instead of being a secretary Bilbo was now head of human resources for Erebor, a role he felt vastly under qualified for, though nothing had fallen apart yet. 

He'd also stayed in touch with all the members of the company who’d retaken Erebor which was less unexpected. After all, he'd sat up all night drinking coffee and brainstorming with every single one of them at some time or another. He knew them and they knew him and he was family. They were family. If this had just been a Christmas party with them he wouldn't have minded. 

It wasn't, though. It was a whole-company Christmas party. Bilbo had tried to talk Thorin into something smaller but this time the CEO hadn't been dissuaded, booking out a hotel ballroom and inviting everyone. 

And that was what made Bilbo nervous, when it came down to it. Not the party itself (though in the end, as with far too many of Thorin's ideas, he'd been the one to implement it so if it did fall apart it'd be on his head) but the idea of what others might see. He wasn't imposing, wasn't majestic like Thorin. He knew he was just a little, fussy man and the others would see this. See him sat with all these important men, sat right beside Thorin (at Thorin's insistence, he'd tried to put himself at the back next to Bofur but Thorin had torn up that seating plan) and he'd embarrass them. He just knew he would. Their stock hadn't fully recovered yet and people would see him and question Thorin's right to lead the company when he kept such questionable company. 

He'd voiced some of this to Dori and been laughed at for his efforts. Been told that he had more right to be front and center than anyone. In the end it had been his diplomacy and fast-talking as much as Thorin's power that had re-taken Erebor for them and if anyone didn't like it they could get out. 

But Bilbo couldn't help but worry. Couldn't help but look at himself in the mirror and see something smaller. Something less. He wanted to do them proud tonight, he just wasn't sure he had it in him. 

***

The group of them met before the party in a small room off the foyer that the hotel presumably used as a meeting room, if the table was anything to go by. He was the last to arrive and when he did the other cheered, already well into their drinks, and he found himself passed around so they could all clap him on the shoulders. 

As always, it seemed, he ended next to Thorin. Not that he minded finding himself with a familiar arm slung around his shoulder. He’d rather like it if he wasn’t dreading making an ass out of himself in front of everyone employed by Erebor. 

“Bilbo,” Thorin said, voice happy and sincere in a way it only seemed to be when he was speaking to those close to him, the way that made Bilbo’s stomach clench with happiness. “I’m glad you made it.” 

Thorin was cutting an impressive figure tonight in a blue suit, though he seemed more relaxed than Bilbo had seen him in a long time. More content. His arm lingered and Bilbo had to fight the impulse to lean into the embrace. 

“Thorin,” he said instead, forcing himself to take a little half-step back. Dreaming, thinking about Thorin. That was fine. Better not to even contemplate actually acting on it. “It’s good to see you looking so relaxed.” 

“Of course,” Thorin said, lifting the pint glass already in his hand in mock salute. Bilbo suspected it wasn’t his first. “My heritage is returned to me, I’ve provided a future for my nephews, I’m surrounded by good friends and good cheer. What is there to be unhappy about?” 

What indeed? 

***

Bilbo knew they all thought his fear of doing something ridiculous and embarrassing them at the Christmas party was silly but what they didn’t know what that he had a history. 

Prior to signing the contract with Thorin he’d worked for Shire holdings, a small concern with a very laid back attitude, and he’d had something of a reputation. He’d always been considered odd but when he drank in front of his co-workers he just couldn’t help but prove it. 

The first Christmas party he’d gotten so drunk he’d gotten lost and ended up sleeping under his bosses desk. His boss had been very understanding in the morning right up until he threw up in the man’s office plant. 

The second year they took the precaution of moving the party off site but that didn’t seem to help. He even moderated his drinking but he still managed to get roped into party games and performed so badly he managed to actually injure a colleague who had to go to hospital and was out of work for six weeks. 

His track record had gone downhill from there. 

So he knew what the others didn’t, that it wasn’t a case of if he’d embarrasses them but when and how and, if he was honest, he just didn’t want them to think any less of him. 

Just didn’t want Thorin to think any less of him. 

***

The hotel he’d found was classy but not so up-market that he felt he shouldn't even be allowed in the foyer. He suspected that some of the company would be as ill at ease in a place like that as he was. The first place he’d visited, Rivendel, had been lovely but he doubted his friends would have liked the vegetarian menu and Mirkwood was just terrible (and, seriously, who names a hotel Mirkwood). 

The Lake town hotel was better. A short walk from the office with a big ballroom and plenty of rooms at a decent rate for people who wanted to stay the night. Bilbo had snapped it up and as he sat at the head table he felt content with his choice. 

The meal had been served (the meal was always the best part of any Christmas party, from his perspective). There had been a nice starter, plenty of the main course and so much Christmas pudding for desert that he was seriously beginning to think he was going to be too full to move and embarrass anyone. Now the music had started and people had begun drifting towards the dance floor. Ori had dragged Nori out to dance and a pretty girl with auburn hair had taken Kili in hand. He was warm and surrounded by good friends and happy. 

He just wished there was a chance it could last. 

“Bilbo,” Thorin said, leaning into his space and laying a hand on his arm. “Thank you for arranging all this.” 

“Oh, you’re welcome,” Bilbo said with a bright smile. He hadn’t done it just for Thorin’s approval, of course, but what the other man thought meant a lot to him. As did the warm hand on his arm. “It wasn’t that hard…” 

“All the same,” Thorin said, smiling gently. Bilbo thought his heart was going to melt at that smile. He’d always been weak when he came to Thorin’s smiles. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for us. We wouldn’t be here now without you.” 

“It was nothing,” Bilbo said, blushing down to his toes. “Just a little paperwork, really.” 

“More than that,” Thorin said, leaning in a little to be heard over the music. Or that was probably why he leant in. Almost definitely because what other reason could there be? “It has been pointed out to me that I don’t always thank people when I should. I think they know how important they are when I don’t say it.” 

“Oh,” Bilbo said, wishing his seat would just collapse or something already to break the tension growing between them because he’d learnt not to hope. Thorin was a very intense man and sometimes he got very intense in conversation, obviously. It didn’t need to mean anything. 

Still, his traitor heart couldn’t help but hope it might mean something. Couldn’t help but hope the way Thorin was smiling, the way he was leaning into Bilbo’s space, might finally mean the thing he wanted it to. He’d have to be mad or blind to not be attracted to Thorin after all, maybe both because even if he wasn’t pretty Bilbo was sure he’d admire the other man’s courage and strength of character and conviction and…

Bilbo was in a lot of trouble when it came to Thorin but he’d known that for a while now. 

“Bilbo,” Thorin said, his voice low and serious and his face ever so close and Bilbo felt something stir within him and all he wanted was to throw himself forward into Thorin’s arms. 

“Oh gosh, hope we aren’t interrupting anything!” 

Bilbo blinked and the moment was gone, Thorin pulling back in his chair and glaring at Nori was was stood there with an uncertain Ori at his elbow, a tray of shots in his hand. 

“You aren’t,” Thorin said, and Bilbo wanted to protest that they were. They definitely were. But maybe they hadn’t been? Maybe he’d been imagining it all again. There had been so many times since they’d met that Bilbo had been absolutely certain that Thorin was about to kiss him that maybe he just couldn’t tell what was really happening any more. 

“It’s just that the party part of the party’s started,” Ori interrupted, his eyes flashing between them like he was trying to work something out. “So we thought we’d buy everyone a shot.” 

“Of course, thank you,” Thorin said, rising majestically and clapping Ori on the shoulder. Bilbo scrambled after him. He’d decided he shouldn’t drink after the meal, drink was always his problem, but when Nori shoved a glass into his hand it would be impolite to refuse and then Thorin was holding his glass up and saying cheers and the liquid was burning down his throat and really it all went downhill from there. 

***

Bilbo was no dancer but, as it turned out, Thorin was the only member of the party who didn’t look like a fool on the dance floor so at least he was in good company. Soon there was enough alcohol in his system that he didn’t even care about what a fool he must be making of himself. 

The music kept going, the typical selection of oldies with a few new songs mixed in. He sang along to Bohemian rhapsody with Kili’s arm flung over his shoulder, danced an inexpert version of the Macarena with Bombur and did the conga between Balin and Dwalin. He wasn’t sure who kept supplying the shots as he certainly never found himself at the bar but they kept coming until everyone was drunk and happy and silly enough that Bilbo finally let himself relax. 

Maybe this year would be different. Maybe he could get through one Christmas party without being the embarrassing one. 

And then they were singing the last song, the company locked in a circle. He was pressed tight against Thorin’s side, content to lean and feel the rumble of the other man’s chest as he belted out sweet Caroline. Fili bracketed him on the other side and he felt safe and warm and like part of their strange, overbearing family and he was good with that. So good with that. 

He wasn’t sure how singing together translated to being pressed up against the cloak room wall by Thorin as he collected his coat. He wasn’t sure how that lead to him being guided up the stairs to the room Thorin had booked for the night. He knew not to protest, though, as Thorin pressed him down into the unfamiliar mattress. Knew not to complain. He might not know how he got here but he was exactly where he wanted to be. 

***

Bilbo woke up and immediately rolled out of bed, treading as quietly as he could to the bathroom and emptying his stomach into the toilet bowl. He sat there for a few minutes, pressing his forehead to the toilet bowl and allowing himself a semi-sober contemplation of what he’d done last night. 

He’d had a one night stand, something he’d never done before. With his boss, whom he relied upon for a job. The boss he’d been hopelessly in love with for longer than he cared to contemplate. 

He was a complete idiot. 

He forced himself up from the floor and stumbled back out into the bedroom. Better to meet your mistakes head on. Only there was a reprieve because somehow Thorin was still asleep. Or pretending to be. Maybe he didn’t want to deal with his mistakes right now either. Bilbo didn’t mind, he was going to take it as the gift it was. 

He gathered his things, dressing silently. He’d always had a gift for being quiet but he’d never imagined he’d use it like this. A quick glance at the clock told him he should be in time for the first bus home, which was good. He checked for his wallet and his keys, realised he’d lost his phone but still had the other two items, then headed to the door. 

He paused there. Thorin was still sleeping, spread out over his half of the bed and barely covered by the thin sheets in the warm room. He looked magnificent. Majestic, even in sleep. A million times too good for someone like Bilbo but Bilbo knew himself to be a greedy little thing and he wanted to badly to go over there and get back under the sheets. 

He wondered what Thorin would do. He imagined Thorin sleepily reaching for him, pulling him in so their bodies curled together again like they had last night. He imagined good morning kisses and shower kisses and quiet confessions. 

But then he imagined the other possibility. He imagined Thorin looking at him with that look he had of barely disguised contempt like he couldn’t understand why Bilbo was still there. He imagined the stilted small talk they’d have as Thorin tried to work out how to politely tell him to go. He imagined Thorin not even trying to be polite and just telling him he should already be gone. 

He slipped out of the door. 

It clicked shut behind him and he let out a sad little breath. He’d gone. He couldn’t get back in now anyway so there was no point brooding. Instead he hurried out of the place, not meeting any eyes as he walked to the bus stop. He’d go home, have a nice cup of tea, get into bed and forget the whole thing had ever happened. 

He wished he didn’t already know how impossible that was going to be. 

***

In the end he did go back to bed to nurse his hangover which seemed determined to get worse before it got better. It was late afternoon when he finally reemerged to make that cup of tea, managing a rich tea biscuit and some ibuprofen as well. 

It was just as well he had as he’d only just been up long enough for the tea to cool and the recrimination to set in before someone banged on his door. He considered ignoring them but they were already knocking again. That meant they were either a relative or a member of the company and neither of those groups tended to give up easily. 

He opened the door to find Fili and Kili, both looking cold and vaguely annoyed. They didn’t wait for an invite but brought themselves in, chattering about the weather and dumping their clothes in his arms as they always did. As they headed to the kitchen to start the kettle to hung their coats up and shut the door, smiling fondly though he knew he should be cross as them for just barging in here. 

The truth was he’d been rather lonely, it was nice to be invaded by them. 

“Bilbo,” Kili said, sticking his head back into the hall. “Will you be needing a new cup?” 

“Yes,” Bilbo said, moving cautiously to join them. Fili already had the three mugs set ou with tea bags in. He ignored Bilbo and his brother in favour of pouring a little milk in each cup and then, when the kettle boiled, topping them up with water and given them a good stir. He left the tea bags on the side of the sink which Bilbo had never approved of but he’d clean it up later, then paraded through into the living room where he put the cups down on the coffee table and took a seat, ignoring everyone until they were all seated. 

“Alright,” Fili said, picking up his cup and holding it between his hands. “We’re here to work out exactly what happened last night and why you’re not answering my phone.” 

“Well,” Bilbo said, a little flustered by Fili’s unusually direct approach. “I don’t see as the first part’s any of your business but, as to the second part, I misplaced my phone some time last night.” 

“Again,” Kili said with a sigh and Bilbo had to blush because, yes, again. “You do know Uncle’s been frantic all day, trying to call you. He tried to come over but mum caught him, decided he was skipping out on Christmas preparation and shouted at him.” 

“A lot,” Fili agreed. “He’s been really grumpy all morning. So, what did happen?” 

“Nothing,” Bilbo said, knowing his blush was giving him away. “Nothing happened and you two are far too nosy for your own good.” 

“Did you have sex?” Fili asked, looking Bilbo right in the eye as he said it. “Kili thinks you finally got up the nerve, I think you just finally talked about your feelings and there was some kind of terrible misunderstanding. Because, let’s face it, there’s no way you two sorted this out without at least some misunderstanding.” 

“I don’t see as it’s any of your concern,” Bilbo said, grabbing his tea cup as though he could hide his blush with it. “Thorin and I are adults and what we do or don’t do is up to us.” 

Fili and Kili both looked at him skeptically and he blushed and looked away, knowing he was giving the game away even as he did it but one thing they’d said kept running through his mind. Thorin had looked miserable that morning. Surely not about them. Surely not about waking up to find him gone. 

It was possible he’d made a terrible mistake. 

“So...you were with Uncle last night?” Kili asked eventually. 

“Yes,” Bilbo admitted, eyes to the floor. 

“So, either way, there’s been a misunderstanding,” Fili said, setting his cup down and standing up. “Kili, get Bilbo’s coat.” 

“What for?” Bilbo asked, finally looking up to meet Fili’s eye again. 

“We’re taking you to Uncle and the two of you can work it out. Because I’m sick of this pinning. It was funny at first but the two of you have been in love with each other for too long and now it’s just sad so you’re going to go talk to each other.” 

“Thorin doesn’t…” 

“Thorin does,” Kili interrupted. “He so does, Bilbo. Now, here’s your coat.” 

“You’re both insane,” Bilbo said but he allowed them to bundle him into his coat anyway. He tried to push down the spark of excitement in him but he couldn’t stop it completely. What if they were right. What if he was wrong and Thorin did…

What if he’d made a terrible mistake. 

***

He spent the short drive to Thorin’s house in the back seat of Fili’s car with Kili. Apparently they didn’t trust him not to throw himself out of a moving vehicle just to avoid an awkward conversation which was probably a good call. 

And then they were there and he was being bundled through a kitchen that smelt strongly of cinnamon, past a grinning Dis and into the living room where Thorin was sat on the couch, frowning at the TV as though it had personally offended him. 

“Here,” Fili said, yanking Bilbo’s coat of even as he protested. “Whatever’s happened, talk it out and then we can get back to Christmas.” 

“Fili,” Thorin said, standing and frowning. 

“Don’t make us lock you in,” Kili said, retreating quickly. “And no lying either. We’ll find out and it’s just getting ridiculous now.” 

“Ridiculous,” Fili agreed, ushering Kili out and slamming the door behind them. And then it was quiet. 

Bilbo turned to look at Thorin and found a quite spectacular lack of inspiration about what to say. There was the same desire as always to go over and press himself against Thorin, lose himself in the other man’s arms. That would be very inappropriate though. 

“You don’t have to stay,” Thorin said, breaking the silence. He was avoiding looking at Bilbo which was very much unlike him and probably a testament to how disgusted he was with their actions last night. Bilbo, well, he almost wanted to cry at the flood of disgust that came over him. He began to turn to the door hoping at least to hide the way he was sure his expression was crumbling. 

“You made it quite obvious this morning that you consider what we did a mistake.” 

He froze mid-turn. Let the words fully process. Thorin thought he regretted it. But how? He’d been pretty blatant in his attraction to the other man. Everybody else seemed to know. Surely Thorin knew…

Fili and Kili thought they were both obvious. He wouldn’t miss something as big as that, would he? Only Thorin had missed his love so maybe he had missed Thorin’s love. Maybe. Oh but his heart could hardly stand the hope that was rushing into it. He had to know. 

“I’m sure sure mistake if the term I’d use,” he said softly, turning to face Thorin again. “Though now, maybe. I think maybe I’ve been a fool, Thorin. I just...I woke up this morning and it seemed to improbable that a man like you might actually want me in your bed and I couldn’t bear the heartache of you sending me away so I...I sent myself away.” 

“You thought I’d send you away?” 

“Of course,” Bilbo said with a little laugh. “I’m just some secretary. Barely anyone, really. I have my little house and my little life and you’re so much more…” 

“You are a fool,” Thorin said, but somehow he made the words sound oddly affectionate. Bilbo was going to protest but Thorin was moving towards him with a neutral expression. He stopped a few steps away, lifting his hand and gently laying it on Bilbo’s shoulder and all Bilbo could do was lift his own hand and tangle their fingers together.

“I love you,” Bilbo said, knowing it was too much. Knowing it was too soon. He just didn’t know how to say it any smaller. Any more appropriately. It was such a giant thing. 

“And I you,” thorin mumbled, his face finally sliding into a smile and he leant forward, kissing Bilbo so gently that Bilbo almost wanted to cry with it. Wanted to cling to Thorin and stay right here doing just this forever. 

“Oh,” was all he could finally think to say when Thorin pulled back but Thorin just laughed and kissed him on the forehead. 

“Some day I will convince you to see yourself as I see you and you’ll realise how silly you were to doubt,” Thorin said, wrapping his arms around Bilbo and Bilbo wasn’t sure about that but he was more than happy to sink into Thorin’s offered embrace, hide his face in Thorin’s neck because he’d been wrong and he was here and he was wanted and he’d been so wrong. 

“I told you I’d do something ridiculous at the Christmas party,” Bilbo said. Thorin only tightened his arms and laughed.


End file.
